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There is a particular species of embarrassment that only the highly qualified can achieve. A man who has never claimed to understand plumbing is not embarrassed when the pipes burst. But the master plumber, knighted for services to pipework, who stands ankle-deep in his own kitchen staring at a spanner, that man has achieved something almost artistic.

Sir Keir Starmer KC, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is that man. And the spanner is the law.

I. The CV That Launched a Thousand Speeches

Let us begin where Starmer always begins: the biography.

After becoming a barrister in 1987 and spending years on criminal defence and human rights work, Starmer was appointed Director of Public Prosecutions and head of the Crown Prosecution. He was awarded a knighthood in 2014 for services to criminal justice.

This is not an incidental biography. It is load-bearing biography. Throughout his rise from shadow cabinet obscurity to Downing Street, Starmer returned to these credentials with the regularity of a man checking that his wallet is still in his pocket. During the 2023 campaign to “smash the gangs,” he pledged that his Labour government would be “ruthless,” invoking his record as Director of Public Prosecutions as proof that he knew how to “go after dangerous criminals to protect the British public”, and had “delivered.”

The implication was clear, and deliberately so: here was a man who not only understood the law, but had wielded it. Not a politician who deferred to lawyers. A lawyer who had become a politician. The distinction, his campaign insisted, mattered enormously.

It does matter. Just not in the way he intended.

II. “Following Legal Advice”: The Phrase That Ate a Government

The most revealing phrase of the Starmer administration has not been any grand rhetorical flourish. It has been the quietly devastating formulation: *following legal advice.*

When the government abandoned its plans to postpone local elections for thirty councils in May 2026, a Ministry of Local Government spokesperson offered this explanation: “Following legal advice, the government has withdrawn its original decision to postpone 30 local elections in May.”

Pause and appreciate the geometry of this. The man who spent five years as Britain’s chief prosecutor, whose very claim to the premiership rested on prosecutorial mastery, introduced a policy, discovered it was legally untenable, and retreated behind *legal advice* as though it were something handed down by an inscrutable oracle rather than a basic constraint that a competent government lawyer might have flagged at the policy conception stage.

To be surprised by legal advice, when you *are* the legal advice, is not merely embarrassing. It is a form of institutional comedy.

III. The Grooming Gangs Affair: Law as Political Football

The grooming gangs scandal produced perhaps the most uncomfortable tension of Starmer’s legal inheritance.

At the start of 2025, the government repeatedly insisted there was no need for a national inquiry, launching five locally-led investigations instead. The Prime Minister characterised those calling for a national inquiry as “jumping on a bandwagon” and “amplifying the demands of the far right.” Then, several months later, having resisted calls throughout, Starmer launched a national inquiry following a review by crossbench peer Louise Casey.

This, in itself, might be filed under “responsive governance”, except for the personal dimension. Criticism that Starmer bears responsibility for failings in bringing grooming gangs to justice stems in part from a 2009 CPS decision not to prosecute suspects in a Rochdale case, citing concerns about the victim’s credibility, made roughly nine months into his tenure as DPP. Starmer has robustly defended his record, noting that he changed CPS guidance in 2013 to “challenge myths and stereotypes” that had stopped victims being heard, leaving office when the CPS had the highest number of child sex abuse prosecutions on record.

The point here is not to relitigate the personal culpability question, which is genuinely contested. The point is that a Prime Minister whose political identity is inseparable from his legal career found that same career turned into a political liability, and responded by doing, eventually, the very thing he had condemned others for demanding. Sir Keir Starmer, it turns out, arrived at the national inquiry position by the most elaborate possible route.

IV. The China Spy Case: The CPS Betrays Its Former Master

In September 2025 came a peculiarly loaded embarrassment. A “China spy case” involving Christopher Cash, a former parliamentary researcher, collapsed after the Crown Prosecution Service dropped charges under the Official Secrets Act. The institution Starmer once led, hauling down a prosecution on his watch as Prime Minister.

The Director of Public Prosecutions stated the case fell apart because the government had failed to provide evidence that China was officially considered a national security threat at the time, as required under a 2025 legal precedent. The Conservatives accused the Starmer government of withholding key evidence to appease Beijing; the government denied interference and blamed outdated laws and the previous administration’s China policy.

One cannot help but observe the irony: a spy case, collapsed by the prosecutorial machine Starmer built, over evidence the Starmer government did not provide. The CPS, with efficient impartiality, sabotaged its most famous alumnus.

V. Immigration: When Policy Outruns Principle

On immigration, Starmer’s legal instincts led him to one of his clearest pre-election positions — and one of governance’s most tangled inheritances.

Starmer stated he would reverse the Rwanda deportation policy even if it were declared legal by the Supreme Court, describing it as “the wrong policy”, hugely expensive and affecting only a tiny number of individuals. This was principled. It was also convenient, given that the Supreme Court had already declared the policy unlawful for failing to guarantee Rwanda was a safe country for asylum seekers.

His government duly cancelled Rwanda. What replaced it has not noticeably resolved the political problem, and the small boats crossings have continued to fuel Reform UK’s rise. Key immigration measures introduced include stricter visa rules, higher salary thresholds for skilled worker visas, and the closure of the care worker visa route. The deterrence problem — the one that Rwanda was, however clumsily, designed to address, remains structurally unsolved.

VI. The Verdict

By November 2025, Starmer’s net approval rating had fallen to an average of 46%, with an Ipsos poll indicating he was the least popular Prime Minister since records began in 1977.

This is not primarily a story about incompetence. It is a story about the gap between institutional identity and governing reality. Starmer was elected as the antidote to Conservative chaos: a man of process, principle, and prosecutorial rigour. What his tenure has revealed is that knowing the law and governing within it are different skills, and that a career building cases is poor preparation for building coalitions, holding nerves, and making decisions that survive contact with democratic friction.

The prosecutor, it turns out, is more comfortable with a brief than with a mandate. More at home in a courtroom, where the rules are fixed, than in a cabinet room, where they are negotiated daily.

Sir Keir Starmer received a knighthood for services to criminal justice. His government, meanwhile, keeps getting ambushed by the law. The irony is not subtle. But then, the best satire never is.

# contentMap.en
Screenshot

There is a particular species of embarrassment that only the highly qualified can achieve. A man who has never claimed to understand plumbing is not embarrassed when the pipes burst. But the master plumber, knighted for services to pipework, who stands ankle-deep in his own kitchen staring at a spanner, that man has achieved something almost artistic.

Sir Keir Starmer KC, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is that man. And the spanner is the law.

I. The CV That Launched a Thousand Speeches

Let us begin where Starmer always begins: the biography.

After becoming a barrister in 1987 and spending years on criminal defence and human rights work, Starmer was appointed Director of Public Prosecutions and head of the Crown Prosecution. He was awarded a knighthood in 2014 for services to criminal justice.

This is not an incidental biography. It is load-bearing biography. Throughout his rise from shadow cabinet obscurity to Downing Street, Starmer returned to these credentials with the regularity of a man checking that his wallet is still in his pocket. During the 2023 campaign to “smash the gangs,” he pledged that his Labour government would be “ruthless,” invoking his record as Director of Public Prosecutions as proof that he knew how to “go after dangerous criminals to protect the British public”, and had “delivered.”

The implication was clear, and deliberately so: here was a man who not only understood the law, but had wielded it. Not a politician who deferred to lawyers. A lawyer who had become a politician. The distinction, his campaign insisted, mattered enormously.

It does matter. Just not in the way he intended.

II. “Following Legal Advice”: The Phrase That Ate a Government

The most revealing phrase of the Starmer administration has not been any grand rhetorical flourish. It has been the quietly devastating formulation: *following legal advice.*

When the government abandoned its plans to postpone local elections for thirty councils in May 2026, a Ministry of Local Government spokesperson offered this explanation: “Following legal advice, the government has withdrawn its original decision to postpone 30 local elections in May.”

Pause and appreciate the geometry of this. The man who spent five years as Britain’s chief prosecutor, whose very claim to the premiership rested on prosecutorial mastery, introduced a policy, discovered it was legally untenable, and retreated behind *legal advice* as though it were something handed down by an inscrutable oracle rather than a basic constraint that a competent government lawyer might have flagged at the policy conception stage.

To be surprised by legal advice, when you *are* the legal advice, is not merely embarrassing. It is a form of institutional comedy.

III. The Grooming Gangs Affair: Law as Political Football

The grooming gangs scandal produced perhaps the most uncomfortable tension of Starmer’s legal inheritance.

At the start of 2025, the government repeatedly insisted there was no need for a national inquiry, launching five locally-led investigations instead. The Prime Minister characterised those calling for a national inquiry as “jumping on a bandwagon” and “amplifying the demands of the far right.” Then, several months later, having resisted calls throughout, Starmer launched a national inquiry following a review by crossbench peer Louise Casey.

This, in itself, might be filed under “responsive governance”, except for the personal dimension. Criticism that Starmer bears responsibility for failings in bringing grooming gangs to justice stems in part from a 2009 CPS decision not to prosecute suspects in a Rochdale case, citing concerns about the victim’s credibility, made roughly nine months into his tenure as DPP. Starmer has robustly defended his record, noting that he changed CPS guidance in 2013 to “challenge myths and stereotypes” that had stopped victims being heard, leaving office when the CPS had the highest number of child sex abuse prosecutions on record.

The point here is not to relitigate the personal culpability question, which is genuinely contested. The point is that a Prime Minister whose political identity is inseparable from his legal career found that same career turned into a political liability, and responded by doing, eventually, the very thing he had condemned others for demanding. Sir Keir Starmer, it turns out, arrived at the national inquiry position by the most elaborate possible route.

IV. The China Spy Case: The CPS Betrays Its Former Master

In September 2025 came a peculiarly loaded embarrassment. A “China spy case” involving Christopher Cash, a former parliamentary researcher, collapsed after the Crown Prosecution Service dropped charges under the Official Secrets Act. The institution Starmer once led, hauling down a prosecution on his watch as Prime Minister.

The Director of Public Prosecutions stated the case fell apart because the government had failed to provide evidence that China was officially considered a national security threat at the time, as required under a 2025 legal precedent. The Conservatives accused the Starmer government of withholding key evidence to appease Beijing; the government denied interference and blamed outdated laws and the previous administration’s China policy.

One cannot help but observe the irony: a spy case, collapsed by the prosecutorial machine Starmer built, over evidence the Starmer government did not provide. The CPS, with efficient impartiality, sabotaged its most famous alumnus.

V. Immigration: When Policy Outruns Principle

On immigration, Starmer’s legal instincts led him to one of his clearest pre-election positions — and one of governance’s most tangled inheritances.

Starmer stated he would reverse the Rwanda deportation policy even if it were declared legal by the Supreme Court, describing it as “the wrong policy”, hugely expensive and affecting only a tiny number of individuals. This was principled. It was also convenient, given that the Supreme Court had already declared the policy unlawful for failing to guarantee Rwanda was a safe country for asylum seekers.

His government duly cancelled Rwanda. What replaced it has not noticeably resolved the political problem, and the small boats crossings have continued to fuel Reform UK’s rise. Key immigration measures introduced include stricter visa rules, higher salary thresholds for skilled worker visas, and the closure of the care worker visa route. The deterrence problem — the one that Rwanda was, however clumsily, designed to address, remains structurally unsolved.

VI. The Verdict

By November 2025, Starmer’s net approval rating had fallen to an average of 46%, with an Ipsos poll indicating he was the least popular Prime Minister since records began in 1977.

This is not primarily a story about incompetence. It is a story about the gap between institutional identity and governing reality. Starmer was elected as the antidote to Conservative chaos: a man of process, principle, and prosecutorial rigour. What his tenure has revealed is that knowing the law and governing within it are different skills, and that a career building cases is poor preparation for building coalitions, holding nerves, and making decisions that survive contact with democratic friction.

The prosecutor, it turns out, is more comfortable with a brief than with a mandate. More at home in a courtroom, where the rules are fixed, than in a cabinet room, where they are negotiated daily.

Sir Keir Starmer received a knighthood for services to criminal justice. His government, meanwhile, keeps getting ambushed by the law. The irony is not subtle. But then, the best satire never is.

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The Prosecutor in Chief Who Keeps Getting Ambushed by the Law by Lawson Akhigbe

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The Prosecutor in Chief Who Keeps Getting Ambushed by the Law by Lawson Akhigbe

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There is a particular species of embarrassment that only the highly qualified can achieve. A man who has never claimed to understand plumbing is not embarrassed when the pipes burst. But the master plumber, knighted for services to pipework, who stands ankle-deep in his own kitchen staring at a spanner, that man has achieved something almost artistic.Sir Keir Starmer KC, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is that man. And the spanner is the law.I. The CV That Launched a […]

# summary
Screenshot

There is a particular species of embarrassment that only the highly qualified can achieve. A man who has never claimed to understand plumbing is not embarrassed when the pipes burst. But the master plumber, knighted for services to pipework, who stands ankle-deep in his own kitchen staring at a spanner, that man has achieved something almost artistic.Sir Keir Starmer KC, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is that man. And the spanner is the law.I. The CV That Launched a […]

# summaryMap.en
Screenshot

There is a particular species of embarrassment that only the highly qualified can achieve. A man who has never claimed to understand plumbing is not embarrassed when the pipes burst. But the master plumber, knighted for services to pipework, who stands ankle-deep in his own kitchen staring at a spanner, that man has achieved something almost artistic.Sir Keir Starmer KC, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is that man. And the spanner is the law.I. The CV That Launched a […]