In the grand tradition of Nigerian politics, where drama is served hotter than a roadside suya, the latest episode of “Who’s the Real Boss?” features none other than Nyesom Wike, Adams Oshiomhole, and a very confused Monday Okpebholo caught in the crossfire. The mission? To probe Godwin Obaseki. The problem? Nobody told Wike and Oshiomhole they were supposed to be on the same script.
Act 1: The Conflicting Directives
Our story begins with Adams Oshiomhole, the former Edo governor and current political godfather (or so he thinks), summoning Monday Okpebholo—Edo’s APC Governor and issuing a stern command: “Probe Obaseki! Leave no stone unturned! Follow the money!” Monday, ever the loyal soldier, nods vigorously and prepares to unleash the mother of all investigations.
Enter Nyesom Wike, the self-proclaimed “Mr. Project” and Minister of the FCT, who apparently missed Oshiomhole’s memo. In a dramatic twist, Wike pulls Monday aside and whispers (or more likely, shouts): “Forget probing Obaseki! Focus on winning the election first!”
Monday, now sweating like a sinner in church, is left wondering: “Which one is my actual boss?”
Act 2: The Comedy of Errors
What follows is pure political slapstick.
- Monday’s Dilemma: Does he obey Oshiomhole, his party’s elder, and risk angering Wike, the man with federal might? Or does he heed Wike’s advice and risk Oshiomhole’s legendary temper? Decisions, decisions.
- Obaseki’s Reaction: Somewhere in Benin, former Governor Obaseki is sipping tea, watching the chaos unfold, and muttering, “These people can’t even agree on how to fight me.”
- The Public’s Take: Nigerians, ever the amused spectators, are placing bets on who blinks first—Wike with his bulldozer approach or Oshiomhole with his trademark “I no go gree” energy.
Act 3: The Ultimate Question—Who’s Really in Charge?
This saga raises deeper philosophical questions:
- If a political godfather gives an order in Abuja and another countermands it in Edo, does it make a sound?
- Is Monday Okpebholo actually the governor, or just a human ping-pong ball in this game of power?
- Will Obaseki ever get probed, or will Wike and Oshiomhole’s rivalry turn this into another season of “Game of Thrones: Edo Edition”?
Final Verdict: A Classic Nigerian Political Circus
At this point, the only thing certain is confusion. Wike and Oshiomhole’s conflicting orders have turned what should be a straightforward political strategy into a Nollywood-worthy comedy. Meanwhile, Monday Okpebholo is probably drafting two separate speeches—one praising Obaseki’s probe and another condemning it—just to cover his bases.
As for the rest of us? Grab your popcorn, folks. This show is far from over.
Moral of the Story: In Nigerian politics, the left hand doesn’t just not know what the right hand is doing—it’s actively slapping it.
—The Political Satirist, signing off while dodging flying political daggers.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 