If Nigeria ever needed proof that hubris can be a full-time job, Nyesom Wike is walking evidence. The man is officially the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), but in practice, he’s running two states like a Nollywood actor juggling wives in a polygamy comedy. One minute, he’s in Abuja paving roads and chasing street hawkers; the next, he’s in Port Harcourt growling at Rivers politicians like a landlord inspecting tenants who are late on rent.
Wike has perfected the art of political dual citizenship. Forget “one man, one vote”—this is “one man, two governorships.” The man struts around Abuja like he’s Mayor Giuliani, then flies down to Rivers State to bark orders as though he never left the Government House. Nigerians are confused: is he the Minister of FCT or the self-appointed Emperor of Two Territories?
In Abuja, he acts like the savior of infrastructure—bulldozers, flyovers, fountains, you name it. But don’t be deceived. Rivers people know this playbook well: the bulldozers come first, the insults follow immediately, and then the threats of political extinction wrap things up nicely. Abuja residents are only just learning what Port Harcourt folks have been enduring for years—Wike doesn’t just build roads, he builds grudges.
His hubris is Shakespearean. This is a man who openly declares that he made politicians, and can unmake them. To Wike, power isn’t just intoxicating—it’s a personal perfume. He wears it everywhere, spritzing it around like cologne at a party: “Ah, you smell that? That’s Authority by Wike, limited edition.”
And the funniest part? Both Rivers State and the FCT have actual leaders on paper. But thanks to Wike’s talent for theatrics, nobody remembers their names. The governors and officials might as well sit quietly in the corner, like side characters in a movie dominated by the main villain. Abuja has a President, Rivers has a governor—but Wike has Wike. And in his world, that’s the only office that matters.
If there was a Guinness World Record for political overreach, Wike would already have three plaques:
First Man to Run Two States Without an Official Second Term. Fastest Transfer of Insults Between Abuja and Port Harcourt. Most Bulldozers Commissioned in One Lifetime.
At this rate, don’t be surprised if he shows up in Lagos traffic one day, claiming he’s the unofficial governor there too—just to complete the collection.
Because in Nigeria, you may be governor of one state, president of one nation, or chairman of one party. But Wike? Wike is governor of everywhere he steps foot.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 