Nigerian Public Officials: Shamelessness as a Public Service

News

IGP obtains court order to scrutinise Sowore’s bank accounts

There are nations where public officials resign over plagiarism, undeclared gifts, or even the crime of eating pineapple on pizza. Then there is Nigeria — where shame has not only packed its bags but has caught the next available night bus to Cotonou.

Take, for instance, the Inspector-General of Police who, instead of using his vast security machinery to tackle insecurity, banditry, or the occasional goat theft in Zamfara, suddenly finds time to obtain a court order to “investigate” the bank accounts of a particularly vocal opponent. Now, in other countries, this would cause outrage. In Nigeria, however, it is simply Tuesday.

One begins to wonder whether these public officials have shame-resistant antibodies injected at swearing-in ceremonies. Picture it: as the Bible and Quran are raised, someone at the back whispers, “Do you solemnly swear to uphold the Constitution, ignore the people, and shamelessly pursue your enemies?” and they all chorus, “So help me God!”

We’ve seen it too often:

• A senator caught on video assaulting a woman with a whip, yet still strutting into the chamber like a Nollywood villain audition.
• Governors who, after building one roundabout with imported Italian marble, declare themselves “Architects of Modern Nigeria.”
• And the IGP, who wakes up one morning and decides the nation’s greatest security threat is not kidnappers or terrorists but a man with a loud Twitter account.

The irony? These officials often do it with the confidence of men who believe they’re starring in a reality show titled “Keeping Up with the Kleptomaniacs.” Shame is not a deterrent; shame is a foreign concept. In fact, in Nigeria, shamelessness is practically a KPI — Key Performance Indicator.

You see, in more civilised democracies, a leader caught abusing power will shuffle out of office, head down, mumbling apologies. In Nigeria, the same leader will hold a press conference, call himself a victim of “political persecution,” quote a Bible verse, then head to the mosque for balance. By evening, he’s hosting a thanksgiving service where his supporters will cry and insist he is “the Moses of our time.”

And when Nigerians complain? Oh, the officials have perfected the art of gaslighting. They’ll tell you the problem is not corruption or misuse of power — no, the problem is you, the citizen, who refuses to “focus on the positives.” Because obviously, the positives include potholes large enough to swallow an SUV and police checkpoints that look more like tollgates run by drunk uncles.

So, the next time you see a Nigerian official behaving in a way that would embarrass even a drunken hyena, remember: shame is not in their dictionary. It was deleted long ago — right next to “accountability” and “public service.”

After all, in Nigeria, shamelessness is not just an attitude; it’s a strategy.