They say television is a medium of mass communication. On that fateful Arise TV morning, it became a medium of mass burial — because Shame died right there, live, and unburied. The guest of honour? None other than Nigeria’s self-proclaimed “common sense” evangelist, Senator Ben Murray-Bruce.
The scene opened innocently enough: bright lights, polite smiles, and the soothing voice of the Arise anchor, Charles Aniagolu introducing the former senator. But halfway through the chit-chat about “national unity” and “the need for good governance,” the anchor — bless his journalistic courage — casually asked the unaskable:
“Senator, some suggest your recent move to the APC might be connected to your alleged Asset Management Corporation of Nigeria (AMCON) debt profile running into billions. How do you respond?”
And that was it. The studio temperature dropped. The microphone caught the exact moment Shame gasped its last breath. It was not an assassination — it was suicide.
Ben blinked. Then smiled that classic Ben Murray-Bruce smile — the one that usually accompanies a “My friend, let’s use common sense!” lecture — except this time, common sense didn’t show up. It was on sick leave.
He began, “Well, let me educate Nigerians…”
And right there, you knew it was over. Any sentence that begins with “Let me educate Nigerians” usually ends with Nigerians being insulted, confused, or both.
He went on to say he only joined APC because he wanted to help President Tinubu “succeed.” You could almost hear the ghost of Shame whisper, “Ben, please stop. Don’t do this to me. We’ve been through a lot together — Silverbird, Bayelsa politics, common sense tweets — don’t make me die on TV.”
But Ben, undeterred, pushed on. He started explaining how his move was patriotic, not pecuniary. The anchor nodded politely, like a doctor watching a patient insist that his headache was caused by the neighbour’s Wi-Fi.
When the debt figures flashed on the screen, even the camera zoomed in respectfully — as if trying to read the obituary of financial prudence. Reports had it that some Arise TV staff heard a faint cry from the air-conditioning vents. That, dear reader, was Shame finally giving up the ghost.
Within minutes, social media had declared the passing official. Tweets poured in:
“Breaking: Shame dies live on Arise TV. Last seen wearing a Silverbird logo.” “Ben Murray-Bruce proves once again that common sense is not common — especially when the bank is calling.” “Debt has no political party.”
By the time the interview ended, Ben had successfully rebranded himself — not as the apostle of common sense, but as the patron saint of debt forgiveness through defection. He claimed he was joining hands with Tinubu to “move Nigeria forward.” Nigerians replied, “Yes, straight into the debtors’ paradise.”
As for Arise TV, they are reportedly considering adding a new disclaimer:
“Warning: Mention of financial history may result in the spontaneous death of Shame.”
Historians will one day mark that interview as a turning point — the moment when shame, already in intensive care in Nigerian politics, was finally pronounced dead.
Cause of death: exposure to hypocrisy.
Date: The day Ben Murray-Bruce found “common cents” more valuable than “common sense.”
Place: Arise TV studio, Lagos.
Witnesses: The entire Nigerian public.
May Shame rest in peace. It fought a good fight — but it could not survive Nigerian politics.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 