Let’s be honest, folks. Democracy is messy. All that arguing, those pesky opposing viewpoints, and the sheer administrative nightmare of coordinating with multiple parties. It’s enough to give a seasoned politician a migraine.
Enter President Bola Tinubu, a man who looks at the beautiful, chaotic mosaic of Nigerian politics and sees a canvas that’s just a little too… colourful. He’s not trying to kill democracy, per se. He’s just streamlining it. Think of it as a political merger and acquisition spree, with the entire country as the target asset.
Having perfected this model in Lagos—a state that has, through sheer force of political will, become a de facto one-party entity—it’s only natural to scale up. Why fix what isn’t broken? For those worried about the health of our multi-party system, fear not. This isn’t destruction; it’s an upgrade to a more efficient operating model.
The Lagos Blueprint: A Masterclass in Political Monopoly
Recall the Lagos of old? A place where other parties could, theoretically, win? Cute. Under the Tinubu political machine, that theoretical possibility was gently but firmly escorted to the door. The strategy is elegant in its simplicity:
1. The “Big Tent” (That’s Also a Venus Flytrap): The APC doesn’t defeat the opposition; it absorbs it. Popular opposition figures are offered a simple choice: join the winning team or face a political ice age. Most, being sensible people who enjoy relevance, choose the former. It’s not coercion; it’s offering a life raft from the “sinking ship” of their own party. How generous!
2. Institutional Synergy: The lines between party and state become beautifully blurred. The government isn’t just running the city; it’s running the political ground game. It’s not an advantage; it’s just good resource management. Why have two separate teams when one will do?
3. The Illusion of Choice: Come election time, you can still vote for whoever you want! You have the freedom to choose between the APC candidate and… well, the overwhelming sense that your vote for anyone else is a lovely, symbolic gesture, like bringing a paper umbrella to a hurricane.
Scaling Up: The Federal “Juggernaut” Tour
Now, this proven model is going national. The recent defection of opposition governors and lawmakers to the APC isn’t a sign of democracy’s death throes. It’s a stampede towards efficiency! Why have a noisy, argumentative parliament when you can have a harmonious board meeting where the agenda is pre-approved?
Critics, like that one brave APC senator who mumbled something about one-party states being bad, just lack vision. They see a political desert; Tinubu sees a well-manicured garden. A single party means no more legislative gridlock, no more pesky oversight, and best of all, no more confusing campaign slogans. There will be one slogan: “It’s Better This Way.”
Even the President’s recent denial of wanting a one-party state is a masterstroke. It’s like a magician telling you he has no rabbits in his hat while simultaneously pulling out an entire warren. He doesn’t view it as good for Nigeria; he simply finds himself in the fortunate position where everyone else is deciding it’s the only logical choice.
Conclusion: Embrace the Ease!
So, let’s stop with the hand-wringing. The future is simple, it’s streamlined, and it has one helm. Think of the savings on ballot ink alone!
This isn’t the death of democracy. This is democracy finally getting a competent CEO. Resistance, as they say, is futile. You might as well sit back, relax, and enjoy the smooth, quiet, and incredibly efficient ride.
Welcome to the Juggernaut. Please ensure your seat is in its upright and locked position
Centre for Nigeria Progress 