If Nigerians needed a new Olympic sport to dominate, forget sprinting or football — judicial acrobatics is the one medal we are snatching with two hands. The Nigerian judiciary is performing backflips so intense that even Simone Biles would whisper, “Calm down, togba nau, this is too much.”
At this point, citizens no longer follow court judgments to understand the law; they follow them to understand the plot. Because truly, the Nigerian judicial system has become a Netflix drama with confusing twists that nobody asked for. And shockingly — the NBA and NJC are sitting in the audience eating popcorn like the rest of us.
Internal Party Affairs: Supreme Court Said “Don’t Bring Here,” Lower Courts Said “Bring It, We Die Here!”
For decades, internal political party affairs were considered non-justiciable — meaning: “Leave us out of your party wahala.” The Supreme Court itself, in a voice deeper than baritone, had declared: Political parties must resolve their internal issues internally.
But suddenly, a court somewhere woke up on the wrong side of judicial precedent and issued an order stopping the PDP convention, as if to say:
“Yes the Supreme Court said that… but me too I want to matter.”
This is how judicial inconsistency begins — one judge decides to be the remix version of the Constitution, and before you know it, legal precedent becomes a suggestion rather than a rule.
Cross-Carpeting: One Judgment for the North, One for the South, and One for the Confusion
A PDP member of the House of Representatives cross-carpets to APC. There’s already case law, principles, and judgments from Rivers State — all clear, predictable and consistent. But then another court, in a different geopolitical mood, decides:
“Vacate your seat — because my ruling must trend today!”
So now, depending on what judicial zone you land in, cross-carpeting can be legal, illegal, partially illegal, spiritually illegal, or illegal only on Tuesdays.
The law is not supposed to be NEPA light — on today, off tomorrow, oscillating like harmattan weather.
NBA & NJC: The Silence is Louder Than a Generator Ban in Lagos
At this point, the NBA should be banging tables. The NJC should be summoning judges like children who stole meat from the pot. Instead, they are observing celestial silence — maybe on a retreat, maybe asleep, maybe waiting for a more confusing judgment before they wake up.
Their silence suggests one of two things:
1. They are quietly praying for the drama to resolve itself, or
2. They, too, are confused and don’t know which judgment to obey
Both options are terrifying.
Judicial Whiplash: Citizens Are Now Using Painkillers to Understand Court Judgments
Nigerians now need lawyers, pharmacists, therapists, and sometimes prophets to interpret court rulings. The rule of law has become a lucky dip — you don’t know what you’ll get until the judge reads it.
This confusion erodes:
Public trust in justice
Institutional credibility
National sanity
Once the judiciary becomes unpredictable, democracy starts flirting dangerously with disorder. And if the courts — the last hope of the common man — start sounding like karaoke versions of the law, then citizens are justified in asking:
“Which judiciary are we using today — the original, the China copy, or the night market version?”
A Simple Proposal: Can We Buy the Judiciary a GPS?
Because clearly, they’ve lost direction.
A democratic society cannot survive when court decisions are based on vibes, mood swings, and regionally-influenced jurisprudence. There must be:
✅ Consistency
✅ Predictability
✅ Respect for precedent
✅ Courage from the NBA & NJC to call out judicial recklessness
Until then, Nigerians will continue taking Panadol — not for headaches from inflation, not for petrol prices — but for trying to decode the legal gymnastics happening in the courts.
Final Verdict
The Nigerian judiciary needs to pick a lane, follow precedent, and stop acting like each court is a separate country with its own constitution. Otherwise, we may as well rename the courts:
Court of First Confusion, Court of Appeal and Drama, and Supreme Court of “We Told You People Long Ago!”
The rule of law is fragile — and right now, it’s cracking under the weight of judicial inconsistency. If the guardians of the legal profession remain silent, then the law itself becomes a joke — and Nigeria, sadly, becomes the punchline.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 