If hypocrisy had a headquarters, it would be located somewhere between a Wall Street penthouse and a MAGA rally stage—staffed by billionaires in tailored suits and supported by voters who proudly declare, “We hate elites!” while worshipping a billionaire who wouldn’t share an elevator with them unless a camera was rolling.
Let’s break down this comedy show where America’s billionaire class uses blue-state wealth as armour and MAGA voters as the disposable infantry — the political equivalent of sending chickens to negotiate with KFC.
Act I: The Billionaire Shield — Powered by the Coastal “Enemies” They Pretend to Hate
The billionaire puppeteers of MAGA-land do not live in the towns where their rallies take place. They do not shop at Walmart, they do not eat Velveeta cheese, and they definitely do not know what a Dollar General is. Their children think “middle class” means having only one ski holiday a year.
These are the same billionaires who pretend to despise coastal elites while living in New York, Malibu, Miami, San Francisco, or Martha’s Vineyard — sipping wine expensive enough to pay a rural mortgage for a year.
They rail against California, but their tech money? Californian.
They mock New York, but their banking empire? Manhattan.
They shout “Make America Great Again!” from behind tinted windows in tax-free states where the poor can’t afford car tyres, let alone healthcare.
Their wealth comes from the very blue states they encourage their followers to hate. It’s like eating from a restaurant while convincing others the food is poisonous — then letting them starve to prove your point.
Act II: The Arrowhead — Bible Belt Foot Soldiers, locked, loaded and… lied to
The MAGA diehards — the “Real America” or so the marketing says — have become political human shields. Millionaires shout “These elites are ruining America!” and the crowd cheers, not realising the only elite in the room is holding the microphone.
These are voters who think billionaires understand them because they once pointed awkwardly at a tractor and said “Nice truck.”
They believe:
Billionaires praying for America = moral leadership Billionaires praying for tax cuts = divine prophecy Billionaires avoiding tax = “smart business, libs are jealous!”
They oppose affordable healthcare while their billionaire heroes get body scans so advanced NASA is taking notes.
They fight to protect billionaires from paying tax, believing one day they too will become billionaires — the same way a chicken dreams of becoming the farm owner while seasoning is being sprinkled on its back.
Act III: The MAGA Turkey Christmas Parade
MAGA voters are not just turkeys voting for Christmas — they are enthusiastically bringing the stuffing, the gravy, and the cranberry sauce, chanting:
“We love the farmer! He speaks for us! He understands turkeys!”
Meanwhile, the farmer is polishing his carving knife and checking flight prices for his next tax-haven getaway.
They chant about freedom while surrendering it.
They chant about patriotism while being milked like political livestock.
They chant about “taking back America” while handing it to men who treat workers like disposable chopsticks.
Act IV: The Scam, Simplified for Easy Consumption
Here’s the MAGA billionaire playbook — boiled down like cheap moonshine:
Scare them “Immigrants! Woke teachers! Drag queens in algebra class!” Distract them while their wages evaporate. Blame the wrong people Not the billionaires shipping jobs to China — no, blame the barista with a sociology degree. Sell impossible dreams “You too can be rich if we get the government off your back!” Government gets off the billionaire’s back — not yours. You just get kicked. Get elected → Rob the treasury → Blame minorities Rinse, repeat, write a book about patriotism.
The Punchline Nobody Wants to Admit
The U.S. is now a three-tier circus:
And the audience? Too exhausted or confused to change the channel.
The tragedy isn’t that the poor are not rising up against the rich.
The tragedy is that the poor are rising up to defend the rich — and attacking the very people trying to help them.
If the Founding Fathers saw this, they’d return to the grave voluntarily.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 