The Day Edo’s Governor Tried to Impeach Confidence Itself
There are moments in Nigeria’s democratic theatre when the actors forget their lines, misplace the script, and still insist on taking centre stage. Edo State’s Governor Monday Okpebholo has now given us one of those unforgettable episodes — an Oscar-worthy performance in political confusion, vocal fumbling, and grade-level governance.
The D7 Destiny
Let us start from the beginning. A man who proudly carries a D7 in his post-primary certificate has now taken charge of the affairs of an intellectual and cultural powerhouse like Edo State. It is not that Edo people did not pray; it is that the angels may have been on break when ballots were cast.
And now, the consequences of that modest academic achievement are streaming live. The cracks in governance are not subtle; they scream louder than a Benin market woman whose change has been withheld.
Enter the Lunching Disaster
It all unfolded — not in Abuja as many assumed — but right at home, in Benin City, during a lunching ceremony. A lunching ceremony that was meant for dignified eating, mild speeches, and political showboating.
But no. Monday Okpebholo arrived determined to make it a symposium on confusion.
Senate President Godswill Akpabio was present, basking in his usual “I am the national transformer” aura. Plates clattered, forks gleamed, rice steamed — and then Monday approached the Senate President with the caution of a man unsure whether his shoes matched his outfit.
He cleared his throat (unsuccessfully), adjusted his voice (also unsuccessfully), and unleashed his request:
> “Oga Akpabio sir… please bring me the head of Godwin Obaseki.”
Benin people paused mid-swallow. Even the spoon in Akpabio’s hand froze, suspended between plate and mouth. For clarity, this wasn’t Shakespeare’s Macbeth; this was a governor, at a food event, requesting a political head as if asking for the extra piece of chicken.
Crimes Not Yet Invented
Naturally, Akpabio asked:
“Governor, what exactly did Obaseki do?”
And Monday, in the full glory of his D7 articulation, responded with boldness reserved only for the deeply confused:
> “We are still thinking. We will formulate the crimes.”
Formulate?
Formulate!
Someone should check whether governance in Edo has been outsourced to a laboratory. The man wants a head first and the allegations later — governance by “we will improvise”.
Even the jollof rice refused to remain innocent that day.
Then Came the Presidential Appeal
As if Akpabio’s bewilderment was not enough seasoning for the afternoon, Monday turned his cracky, trembling voice toward a metaphorical Aso Rock:
> “President Bello Ahmed Tinubu should bring Obaseki back for Nigeria.”
For what?
To do what?
Lead a committee?
Fix federal roads?
Emcee a naming ceremony?
Replace a transformer in Akoko-Edo?
No explanation.
No motive.
No direction.
Monday simply wants Obaseki “back,” while he — Monday — is still thinking of the reason. It is like calling the police to arrest someone and telling them, “Don’t worry, I will accuse him later.”
The Voice That Betrays a Governor
But perhaps the most tragicomic aspect of the entire episode was the governor’s voice.
Ladies and gentlemen, that voice.
A leader’s voice is supposed to command authority. Tinubu has his gravel. Wike has his thunder. Akpabio has his preacher-in-a-crusade rhythm.
But Monday Okpebholo’s voice?
— It trembles like an aging generator running on palm oil.
— It cracks like a chalkboard scraped by a frustrated teacher.
— It leaks fear, insecurity, and self-doubt like a sachet water stabbed by a careless toothpick.
A governor’s voice should inspire confidence; Monday’s voice inspires pity. His words disintegrate halfway out of his mouth, as if protesting being associated with him. Even the microphone bent backward, distancing itself like, “My governor, please don’t drag me into this.”
The Leadership Paradox
How does a man who cannot articulate his accusations articulate a state budget?
How does a governor who cannot stabilise his own voice stabilise a state?
How does someone still thinking of reasons for political vengeance lead complex institutions?
Edo State deserves better than a governor who speaks like he is waiting for WAEC to remark his D7.
Edo’s Royal Heritage vs Monday’s Governance
This is the land of:
Oba Ewuare the Great,
Oba Ozolua,
Oba Esigie,
The creators of the timeless Benin Bronzes,
Philosophers, warriors, artists, and legal minds.
Yet today the state is governed by a man who delivered his political threat with the confidence of a student whose teacher is watching closely to ensure he does not cheat again.
History will mark this as the era when articulacy fled Benin City and sought refuge in neighbouring states.
The Nigerian Political Circus Continues
Every state has its peculiar brand of political comedy. But Monday has taken Edo’s edition to cinematic heights. If Nollywood is paying attention, the script is already written:
“Okpebholo: The Governor Who Wanted a Head Before the Crime.”
Coming soon to a lunching ceremony near you.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 