There are moments in Nigerian political history when time slows down, the clouds part, and the spirits of satire descend to whisper: “My child, write this one. The ancestors of comedy demand it.”
Lt. Yerima’s face-off with Chief Emperor Life-President of Abuja, Nyesom “I Am the Law” Wike, is one such moment.
It began with a stare.
Not an ordinary stare — not the type your mother gives you when you dare pass the salt with your left hand. No.
Lt. Yerima peered into Wike’s eyes and saw something profound: the Lilliputian stature hidden inside a man who roars like a lion but trips like a toddler after two sachets of indomie-flavoured ogogoro. There, behind the sunglasses, beneath the bravado, rested the clay feet of a political Goliath who didn’t know his heel was already cracked.
What happened next will be studied in political science departments and Nollywood acting schools for generations.
Yerima, in a moment of divine courage (or perhaps the spirit of Fela possessed him briefly), pulled off the mask and exposed the clown underneath.
He didn’t shout.
He didn’t push.
He simply existed — and Wike’s empire trembled.
But Yerima did not foresee what would follow.
Because somewhere in Ibadan, the PDP looked up, saw Lt Yerima, and said:
“My beer. Hold it.”
They watched their resident terminator — the man who played double agent, triple agent, and occasional motivational speaker — spiral. They finally realised Wike was not a political Superman but a man with the emotional stability of a man whose suya has just fallen into gutter water.
And PDP, in a rare moment of clarity (possibly due to low blood sugar), reached for a hammer… and swung.
With one mighty blow, they expelled their entire Fifth Columnist Orchestra:
1. H.E. Ezenwo Nyesom Wike
2. H.E. Ayo “I Know What I Saw in Ekiti” Fayose
3. Senator Samuel Anyanwu
4. Umar Bature
5. Adeyemi Ajibade, SAN
6. Mohammed Abdulrahman
7. Senator Mao Ohuabunwa
8. Austine Nwachukwu
9. Abraham Amah
10. George Turner
11. Chief Dan Orbih (because every Nigerian list must end with “Chief” for spiritual balance)
It was the most decisive thing the PDP had done since 1999 — possibly since the invention of party logos.
And with that purge, the party may have taken its first hesitant step onto the long road of rehabilitation. It is the beginning of political physiotherapy after years of self-inflicted fractures. They tried every wrong solution: appeasement, denial, silence, fasting, hydration. Nothing worked.
But removing the sole Big Man Benefactor — who behaves like a godfather without understanding godliness or fatherhood — may be the first time the patient has taken actual medication instead of prayer points.
The walk ahead is steep.
The journey uncertain.
But at least, for once, PDP is walking forward — not backward, not sideways, and not in circles chanting “One big family!” while stabbing each other in the back.
And somewhere, far away, Lt. Yerima sits quietly, polishing his uniform, unaware that his simple act of courage triggered the biggest political exfoliation of the decade.
One thing is clear:
Nigeria needs more Yerimas… and fewer Wikes in emperor chairs.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 