WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After looking at the most recent polls for the Democratic Presidential race, Donald J. Trump has ordered the President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, to investigate Senator Elizabeth Warren. “What Elizabeth Warren and her crooked kids have been doing in Ukraine is a disgrace,” Trump told reporters on the White House lawn. “This …
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After learning that two of Rudy Giuliani’s associates had been charged with federal campaign-finance crimes, millions of Americans expressed their stunned disbelief that Giuliani had associates. “By ‘associates,’ do they mean people who actually associate with Giuliani?” Carol Foyler, who lives in St. Louis, said. “This whole story doesn’t add up.” “I …
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• The path Israel Adesanya took to UFC middleweight championship is storied one • The Nigerian born fighter was moved to New Zealand when just 10-year-old • He had to endure racial abuse and street fighting as he grew up in new country • On Sunday he solidified his status as one of the best …
The management of Ambrose Alli University (AAU) in Edo says it will need about N500 million to construct a befitting mini stadium in the school environment in honour of the country’s sports men and women who graduated from the institution. Ignatius Onimawo, the vice-chancellor of the state-owned university, disclosed this while speaking on the preparations …
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The most xenophobic and isolationist American president in modern history has been selling America to foreign powers for his own personal benefit. Trump withdrew American troops from the Syrian-Turkish border, leaving our Kurdish allies to be slaughtered and opening the way for a resurgent Islamic State. Trump’s rationale? He promised to bring our soldiers home. …
Centre for Nigeria Progress 