Nyesom Wike There is a particular restlessness that defines the political career of Nyesom Wike, the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory. It prompts a question, purely as an intellectual exercise: how does a man so perpetually in motion ever find rest? Upon examining his conduct—with the patience one reserves for studying a curious but …
The False Prophets: How Netanyahu and Trump Exploit Faith While Betraying Humanity by Lawson Akhigbe
Netanyahu and Trump In today’s turbulent political landscape, certain figures offer themselves as bulwarks, as defenders of a way of life. Among the loudest are Benjamin Netanyahu and Donald Trump, who have each, in their own contexts, cultivated a vocal base of Christian support. They posture as warriors for Christian values, as allies in a …
Trump Discovers Time Travel, Invades Venezuela by Lawson Akhigbe
Donald J. Trump has finally achieved what no Silicon Valley billionaire, CERN physicist or Marvel villain could manage: he has dragged the 18th century kicking and screaming into the 21st. In one bold, historically illiterate swoop, he has colonised Venezuela. Not with redcoats and cannons, of course—that would be gauche—but with helicopter gunships, special forces …
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SUBSIDY REMOVAL, TAX REFORMS AND BOLA TINUBU’S GOD-GIVEN TALENT FOR BOTCHING THE OBVIOUS by Lawson Akhigbe
In the months before the 2023 general election, Nigeria experienced what theologians would classify as a minor miracle: agreement among politicians. Peter Obi agreed. Atiku Abubakar agreed. Bola Ahmed Tinubu agreed. Even the petroleum marketers — professional parasites — agreed. Petrol subsidy had to go. Not because of economic enlightenment, but because subsidy had become …
Government Bans Choking in Online Porn, Public Immediately Asks About All the Other Fake Stuff by Lawson Akhigbe
In a move that has shocked absolutely everyone who has ever read the news, the UK Government has boldly stepped in to regulate the one thing we all thought was a bastion of unimpeachable realism: online pornography. The new legislation, part of the Online Safety Act, aims to ban a specific act deemed too violent …

