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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a shakeup that White House insiders said was a long time coming, one of the voices in Rudy Giuliani’s head has resigned.
The resignation, which was officially tendered on Saturday morning, seemed inevitable after the former New York mayor made an appearance on CNN Thursday evening in which two of the voices in his head appeared to be in open warfare with each other.
“When that happened, it was clear that Rudy’s head was not big enough for the both of them,” a White House insider said. “And Rudy has an extremely big head.”
In an official statement, Giuliani thanked the departing voice for its service, and said that he was confident that the four remaining voices in his head would work well together.
As for the former voice in Giuliani’s head, it was rumored to be applying for a position inside Kellyanne Conway’s head.