“One Bright Summer Morning”, I woke with “The Whiff Of Money” on my lap. I knew “This Is For Real” ‘cause I’ve had “An Ear To The Ground” for so long and finally “A Can Of Worms” has opened!
I called and narrated “Just The Way It Is” to “Mallory” and persuaded him to “Try This One For Size” but he turned down the offer saying thus; “You Must Be Kidding”! “Why Pick On Me”? “You’ve Got Yourself A Deal” so “Figure It Out For Yourself”!
But remember, “There’s Always A Price Tag” and “Goldfish Have No Hiding Place” and this deal could end up in “Knock! Knock! Who’s There”? So if I were you, “I Would Rather Stay Poor”.
I cut in and said, “You Can Say That Again”. But then “We’ll Share A Double Funeral”……….
He jumped to his feet, pointed at me and roared, do you “Want To Stay Alive”? Then quit this job or “Consider Yourself Dead” and your corpse will be in a “Coffin From Hong Kong” ‘cause “Eve” is “A Joker In The Park” and to be “Trusted Like The Fox”.
He then pointed to himself and whispered, as for me, “My Laugh Comes Last” And “The Vulture Is A Patient Bird” With a probing stare he said calmly, “Do Me A Favor-Drop dead”. “Have A Nice Night” and he vanished into thin air.
I shrugged and thought to myself again, “What Is Better Than Money”? With this kind of dough I have “The World In My Pocket”. “Mallory” has been right though. This is not a “Come Easy, Go Easy” job but a job of “Tiger By The Tail” and my mind is made “Strictly For Cash”.
So I’m going on a “Mission To Siena” and also a “Mission To Venice” even though I was told by “Cade” that “There’s Hippy On The Highway”. I’ve got “An Ace Up My Sleeve” and “I Hold The Four Aces” for this job. It’s “Just A Matter Of Time”!
If I get a “Sucker Punch” on the job, then I’m “Just Another Sucker” and that’s “The Way The Cookie Crumbles” as life is “But A Short Time To Live”. If there’s a “Double Shuffle”, “Shock Treatment”, or “Hit And Run”, then I’ll be “Safer Dead” and “I’ll Bury My Dead” ‘cause “You’re Dead Without Money”, “You’re Lonely When You’re Dead” and “The Dead Stay Dumb” Waiting for Voodoo to “Make The Corpse Walk”……Hahahahahaha “Believe This, You’ll Believe Anything”!
Books by James Hardly Chase
1. No Orchids for Miss Blandish – 1939
2. The Dead Stay Dumb – 1941
3. The Dolls Bad News – 1941
4. Miss Callghan Comes to Grief – 1941
5. Get a Load of This – 1942
6. Miss Shumway Waves a Wand – 1944
7. Eve – 1945
8. I’ll Get You for This – 1946
9. Last Page – 1947
10. The Flesh of the Orchid – 1948
11. You Never Know With Women – 1949
12. You’re Lonely When You’re Dead – 1949
13. Figure It Out for Yourself – 1950
14. Strictly for Cash – 1951
15. The Fast Buck – 1952
16. Double Shuffle – 1952
17. I’ll Bury My Dead – 1953
18. This Way for a Shroud – 1953
19. Tiger By The Tail – 1954
20. Safer Dead – 1954
21. You’ve Got It Coming – 1955
22. There’s Always a Price Tag – 1956
23. The Guilty Are Afraid – 1957
24. Not Safe to Be Free – 1958
25. Shock Treatment – 1959
26. The World In My Pocket – 1959
27. What’s Better Than Money – 1960
28. Come Easy – Go Easy – 1960
29. A Lotus for Miss Quon – 1961
30. Just Another Sucker – 1961
31. I Would Rather Stay Poor – 1962
32. A Coffin from Hong Kong – 1962
33. One Bright Summer Morning – 1963
34. Tell It to The Birds – 1963
35. The Soft Centre – 1964
36. This is for Real – 1965
37. The Way the Cookie Crumbles – 1965
38. You Have Yourself A Deal – 1966
39. Cade – 1966
40. Have This One on Me – 1967
41. Well Now – My Pretty – 1967
42. An Ear to the Ground – 1968
43. Believed Violet – 1968
44. The Whiff of Money – 1969
45. The Vulture Is a Patient Bird – 1969
46. Like a Hole in the Head – 1970
47. There’s a Hippie on the Highway – 1970
48. Want to Stay Alive? – 1971
49. An Ace Up My Sleeve – 1971
50. Just a Matter of Time – 1972
51. You’re Dead Without Money – 1972
52. Have a Change of Scene – 1973
53. Knock, Knock! Who’s There?
54. So What Happens To Me? – 1974
55. Goldfish Have No Hiding Place – 1974
56. Believe This – You’ll Believe Anything – 1975
57. The Joker In The Pack – 1975
58. Do Me a Favour, Drop Dead – 1976
59. My Laugh Comes Last – 1977
60. I Hold the Four Aces – 1977
61. Consider Yourself Dead – 1978
62. You Must Be Kidding – 1979
63. A Can of Worms – 1979
64. You Can Say That Again – 1980
65. Try This One for Size – 1980
66. Hand Me a Fig Leaf – 1981
67. Have a Nice Night – 1982
68. We’ll Share a Double Funeral – 1982
69. Not My Thing – 1983
70. Hit Them Where It Hurts – 1984
71. He Won’t Need It Now – 1941
72. Lady, Here’s Your Wreath – 1940
73. Just The Way It Is – 1944
74. Blonde’s Requiem – 1945
75. Make The Corpse Walk – 1947
76. No Business of Mine – 1947
77. Trusted Like the Fox – 1948
78. The Paw in the Bottle – 1949
79. Mallory – 1950
80. But A Short Time To Live – 1951
81. Why Pick on Me? – 1951
82. In A Vain Shadow – 1951
84. The Wary Transgressor – 1952
85. The Things Men Do – 1953
86. The Sucker Punch – 1954
87. Mission To Venice – 1954
88. Mission To Sienna – 1955
89. You Find Him, I’ll Fix Him – 1956
90. Hit And Run – 1958
91. Slipstream: A Royal Airforce Anthology – 1946
92. More Deadly Than The Male – 1947
Centre for Nigeria Progress 