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Passports are supposed to be the great equalizers of national identity. If two people carry the green-backed book stamped with the Nigerian coat of arms, the constitution insists they share the exact same claim to fundamental dignity and justice. But citizenship, like roaming data on a prepaid SIM, appears to depend entirely on which borders your passport happens to cross.
Ah, the internet has done it again. While the rest of us are busy arguing over pineapple on pizza or whether socks with sandals constitute a war crime, some genius has distilled centuries of ideological garbage into one glorious, four-panel roast. Behold the meme that slaps you harder than your uncle at Thanksgiving: "Same Shit, Different Hat."
Nigeria is once again standing at a constitutional crossroads. The growing insecurity across the federation, from banditry in the North-West, secessionist violence in the South-East, kidnapping in the South-South, farmer-herder clashes in the Middle Belt, and urban criminality in Lagos and Abuja, has pushed the debate over state police from intellectual seminars into the centre of national survival.
Behold the main character of British politics in 2026: a white, elderly gentleman, clearly leaning on a sturdy wooden cane for support, accredited badge swinging proudly from his neck at the Reform UK conference. Mouth open in mid-roar, eyes locked in righteous fury, he has somehow decided that the greatest threat to civilisation in that moment is a young woman holding a handbag. The crowd of fellow pensioners and patriots looks on with varying degrees of encouragement. Somewhere in the background, the usual sea of white hair and earnest lanyards nods along
His new memoir, “My Life of Duty and Allegiance”, points a finger from the grave of history at Chukwuemeka Ojukwu — accusing the dead Biafran leader of lying about Aburi, arming the East for war, and dragging Nigeria into bloodshed. Ojukwu, buried since 2011, cannot answer.
Centre for Nigeria Progress 