If Nigerian jurisprudence had a Netflix category, the State vs Nnamdi Kanu series would sit in “Legal Thriller – Comedy – Seasonal Madness – Viewer Discretion Advised.”
Because at this point, even the Constitution is clutching its sections like a wrapper and saying, “Somebody should hold me before I slap somebody here!”
Let’s recap the charges and the defences — as only Nigeria can serve them:
🔥 THE CHARGES (Or: “Why FG Doesn’t Sleep Well at Night”)
1. Treasonable Felony
Translation: Attempting to break up Nigeria without the courtesy of a JAPA visa and Commonwealth approval.
FG says Kanu wanted to unbundle Nigeria like a badly performing MTN data plan.
2. Terrorism Charges
Because IPOB was declared a terrorist group.
Meanwhile, bandits with fan clubs, PVCs, and Instagram pages are still classified as “unknown”. Very convenient. Like “unknown soldier” but with a Twitter handle.
3. Running “Radio Biafra” Without Licence
NBC woke up one day and realised someone was broadcasting without paying the annual national suffering subscription.
Ah! How dare he run a radio station without the official government static and dead air time?
4. Publishing Things the Government Doesn’t Like
Also known as “spreading falsehoods” — even if it’s true.
In Nigeria, truth is only true if it’s government-approved truth.
Otherwise, it’s hate speech, fake news or “attack on national unity” (that unity we only remember during AFCON).
🧠 THE DEFENCES (Or: “Why Nnamdi Kanu Came to Court Wearing Confidence Like Agbada”)
1. Right to Self-Determination
Kanu’s legal team basically said:
“Your Lordship, he’s not committing treason — he’s doing group project with the UN. Exhibit A: Google ‘self-determination’.”
2. Freedom of Speech
He didn’t commit any crime — he just spoke English with passion.
And in Nigeria, passion is a felony.
3. Extraordinary Rendition
Nigeria allegedly went all Liam Neeson “Taken” on him in Kenya.
No extradition paperwork, just carry-and-go.
Even kidnappers in Zamfara are now filing formal petitions:
“This is giving our industry a bad name.”
4. No Direct Violence Evidence
Translation: “If anybody stoned police, Your Lordship, it was motivational stoning — not authorised stoning.”
5. Terrorist Proscription Was Rushed
The defence argues the FG proscribed IPOB faster than CBN can redesign currency and recolour it like Crayola crayons.
⚖️ THE LEGAL DRAMA
Court of Appeal once freed him.
Supreme Court said, “Not so fast, my friend. Bring your wig back here.”
This case has bounced more than Nigeria’s exchange rate.
🇳🇬 THE MORAL OF THE STORY
The Nigerian justice system has turned Kanu into:
A legal case study A political football A national headache And an episode of “Who Wants to Be a Martyr?” hosted by Government House.
In the end, this case won’t be settled in court. It’ll be settled where all Nigerian problems are solved:
A secret meeting, over pepper soup, with politicians who swear they came by “consultation”, not bribe.
